6/16/2007

Bendrix's First Five Days

Hey, me Bendrix here. I totally had a bit of a different experience than Hendrix did my first five days. I hope you enjoy my story!
Negative Day One: for a while I'd been thinking about how much it stunk to be a feral kitty. Starving, cold, lonely, fighting. No treats, no soft couch. It stank. I'd noticed that this lady, I'll call her "Sucker" drove by the farm where I liked to hunt about the same time every day. I'd not had much experience with beans, but she looked like she'd be easy to train. I made a plan to meet her the next day.

Day One: It was November 3, 2004 and it was cooooold and gray. I wandered up to the road about the time "Sucker" usually drove by. I arranged myself in a very pathetic position and just as I recognized the sound of her car, I raised my little black head.
Sure enough the lady stopped and got out. She came up to me and said "Are you hurt little sweetie? Did you get hit?" She told me to wait where I was (as if I was going anywhere, I'd smelled fast food in her car before) and she'd "get Greg" and come back.
Sure enough she was back in a couple minutes (I'd noticed she lived right upu the block). She came back with this balding dude, we'll call him "Sucker #2". Can you believe they brought gloves! As if I was diseased. Jeez.
They looked me over and rubbed me to see if I was hurt. Nope, just tired of being alone. I suckered the Man Beam in for sure when I climbed into his lap. They bundled me into the car and took me to a big building (a house!). Sucker #2's hands and arms got all itchy cause he was allergic. heh heh heh.
I must admit the noises and sounds scared me a bit. That subwoofer rocked tho. I liked that. I was put in the bathroom because they weren't sure how / if I was hurt or sick. I hoped they'd turn the fan on. They did.
They put a comfy blanket in with me and the man bean went out and bought litter and a box for me to make my mark in. They also brought me big bowls of tuna and fresh water. About time! Come on guys, couldn't you see my ribs?
I was ready to settle in and be on my own so I got a little pissy until they left. The beans left me alone with come terrible chamber music playing outside the door. Where is the Who? The Doors? Man this stuff stank.

Day Two: The lady bean came in with more food, fresh water and this stoopid flashy box. Hey man, I just want to eat in peace. Get the h#ll away. This is the very first picture of me (you can tell by the irritated look). I came here for the food, not the love.

Day Three: Friday. My second car trip. I didn't have a crate yet so I wiggled out of the stoopid towel and held me tighter. What the heck man, I was home. Where was I going? What is this VET place?
Oh crap. Yup, you got it. I totally got stuck with all these needles to get "vaccinated" and then they stole my blood! They squeezed the crap (literally) outta me. I asked if the dude saw the "exit only" sign on the underside of my tail but apparently he wanted to take my temperature anyway. Ack!

Unfortunately my blood work showed I have FIV so the people who wanted me couldn't take me (they had other cats). Then Sucker #1 and Sucker #2 made an appointment to get my man parts snipped off. I did NOT like the sound of that. Hey, I had a lot more work to do with those.

Day Four: Get away, leave the food. Touch me and I'll chew your arm off. Hey, leave that bowl sweet cheeks. As Cartman so eliquently put it, "Hey lady, get in the kitchen and bake me a pie!" Or get me tuna.

Day Five: I get a fabulous name. How can I say anything bad about being named after a Guitar Legend? I can't say I was happy about that snip snip deal, but the drugs were fabulous. I dreamed I was in this cool coffee shop and James Dean, Marilyn Monroe (the chick, not the pretty kitty), Elvis and that guy from the movie Mommy sayz is no where near as good as Gone With the Wind were there. They gave me tuna.

All in all everything worked out. My nicer alter Hendrix helped me enjoy the petting stuff, but I'll still love playing, eating and scratching more I think. And hey, I'm still paying the VET back for that whole "taking the temperature" thing....

14 comments:

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Bendrix, yoo are such a bad a$$!

Daisy said...

I'm glad Bendrix gets to come out and play sometimes, too. Bendrix, you are a hoot! The "Exit Only" sign! Hahahahahah!

The Meezers said...

Bendrix, it was not as skary as we fought it might be - but you is furry clever to trick your mom and dad into taking you home wif them.

HRH Yao-Lin said...

he he good one Bendrix - you really did reel those suckers in! Ha! And a great job too - just look at how healthy you are now! Respect to you my friend!

xx

DK & The Fluffies said...

Bendix, your story sounds much more real than Hendrix's story.

Jeter and Mickey said...

i haven't had da ekstreem plezzer uv meetin u bendrix. wutta grate guy u ar!
luv--yer noo frend--jh

Number 1 Man Dog said...

awesome story,for a woofie I got tears in my eyes,so glad your mommy loves you.With love you can over come anything.

Eric and Flynn said...

Haha Good one Bendrix. Yoo got those Beans werked out just rite. We laffed about the exit only sign, but duzn't sound like yoo found it funny.

Cats~Goats~Quotes said...

Excellent planning on Day One to get to your forever home!
I just had the Day Three experience myself. Not fun!
~Bandit of The Bunch

Parker said...

HaHaHa!

muffinmidi said...

Hendrix's story made our eyes leaky, but Bendrix's made us laugh.

caricature said...

Great story Bendrix - refreshing to see things from ur side :)

Oscar the Puppy Cat said...

Bendrix, you need to join my Extreme Kitty Club! You think Hendrix would mind? He can come out and play when you're tired. I love Hendrix, he's a great friend! But you're fun, too!

Forty Paws said...

That was furry funny Bendrix!!!

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